Gemini, this is Houston.
Do you copy?
Roger that, Houston. This is Captain Fred Randall.
Houston, the earth looks beautiful.
It's like a giant blueberry.
Roger that, Houston.
We are set to fire retrorockets.
That's a go, Gemini.
Retrofire ignition In T-minus six and counting.
Five, four, three,
two, one, ignition!
Houston, we have a problem! We have a problem!
Mission control.
The gyro is out! The gyro is out!
Houston, we have a problem! We have a problem!
I want my mommy!
I want my mommy! Uh-oh.
Fred Z. Randall, what are you doing?
I come in peace.
Look, George. It's our little moon man.
Wh... Sweet pickled pineapples.
Why can't he just play football
like the rest of the kids?
Tsk. George.
Houston, request go for landing.
Pilgrim One requests go for landing.
Go is affirmative.
Pilgrim One, you are go for landing. Roger that, Houston.
Aeroshell deployed. Acceleration rate, normal. Eclis is go.
Pilgrim is through the high gate at 80%.
Heartbeat, steady. The man is made of ice.
Bill. I see it.
Houston, request 20% X-gimbal correction.
Tell them no.
Negative. Pilgrim, hold your transfer ellipse steady.
What's going on, Hackman? This isn't right.
Computer says we're comin' in too steep.
Twenty thousand meters.
Pilgrim dropping rapidly to the Martian surface.
Flight slope is eroding.
APUs are go.
Gary? Increase 20%.
Do it now, or we'll burn up.
Going in.
Why is he course correcting? Why is he course correcting?
Can someone answer me, Please? I don't know.
Engaging landing thrusters. Houston, we're off course.
Come on. We're losin' her.
We're losin' her, man. We're losin' her.
Houston.
Why?
Congratulations. You're all dead.
Oh.
Third time in a row, Hackman.
Nice move on that course correction.
Paul, it wasn't his fault.
That's right. The navigation computer keeps telling me to correct.
It's obviously screwed up.
Oh, that's the problem?
Pardon me.
Gary says the computer is screwing up, then the computer is screwing up.
Now why don't you just fix it?
Get me the name of the guy that wrote this software!
Better engage the antitheft device.
Hey, morning, everybody! Hi, Floyd!
Hey, Kimmie Lee Wong!
Five minutes till the official workday starts.
That's five minutes to save the world.
Die! Get back to your own planet,
you big, bulgy eyed, bald creature.
Your supervisor showed us in.
He said that you're the man who designed our mission operating system?
Sweet Alaskan asparagus tips. You're the Mars team.
Well, Mr. Randall, uh...
Paul Wick.
Lead flight director.
Oh, sir, I am a big fan of yours. It's a...
William Overbeck. "Wild Bill" Overbeck.
Oh! In my office.
I feel like a paleontologist
that's been huntin' dinosaurs his whole life and finally got to meet one.
Thank you.
Eight shuttle missions! Eight of 'em!
It was nine actually, but who's counting?
Well, apparently you are, my friend.
Oh, thank you for bringin' him here.
I've been following his career since I used... Bill, check this out.
...to play in the flop cycle, swirling and twirling and...
Gary Hackman? Computer specialist.
How's my baby treatin' ya? Actually, uh...
That's why we're here.
Some of us think it may have a glitch.
A glitch?
No, that's not possible. I programed it myself. It's perfect.
Not exactly. Your program keeps miscalculating our orbital entry trajectories.
Here's the data.
Oh, oh, okay. Yup. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Here it comes. Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm... Yeah.
Got it. Got it. There it is.
What? What?
There's what?
This popcorn kernel's been stuck in my molars for the last two weeks.
Well, there's your problem.
Gary's been running his honan transfer equations
to include gravitational effects
varying as the inverse cube of the distance.
I'm a decorated astronaut.
I don't make those kind of mistakes.
Well, now, wait a minute. Look. I'll show you.
I'll enter the same calculations
using what we like to call "the right way."
Then I'll open the lander file,
and I'll initiate the Mars landing sequence.
I've seen enough. Watch this, fellas.
This is ridiculous. Come on. Move, move.
There's nothing wrong with my numbers. They're perfect.
First square capillary.
Hey.
Watch this, you popcorn geek.
See? I told you it's the computer.
I can explain everything.
Skull fracture! I can't believe it.
Injured while proving himself wrong.
Well, I can explain it.
He heard you.
So, what do we do now?
We postpone it. We can't, Ben.
You've seen the reports of the surveyor's satellite that we have orbiting Mars.
There are periodic sandstorms on the surface.
They go on for months at a time,
they make a landing impossible.
If we delay now
and those storms set in, we lose our window.
We can't launch again then for two years.
Then we wait two years.
Ben, Ben, Ben,
if we cancel this launch, everyone will lose faith in us.
In you, in me, in the whole NASA team.
But we could sub in a backup,
and, as a matter of fact, we have two choices.
The first choice, of course, is Gordon Peacock.
But...
He hasn't tested well for space travel.
Test him again. Who's your second choice?
NASA.
Yee-haw!
Mr. Wick, can I call you Paul? No.
Are we there yet? No.
How far is it? Quiet.
Can I drive? No.
Can I park it?
Hey, hey, that stubby guy.
Is that John Glenn? Fred, please, come with me.
I'm sure it was him.
I have less than a month to see if you have the right stuff
to be an astronaut.
Fred, I've gotta get you... I've gotta get you a clearance badge.
You stay right here.
Clearance badge.
If you can sign at the bottom.
Commander, are you sure we're headed towards the planet earth?
It looks a heck of a lot like the sun.
Of course I'm sure, you fool.
How dare you question my authority?
Morning.
Oh.
Sorry, sorry. It wasn't me.
The cafeteria lady pushed me, mister...
Bud Nesbitt?
Who the hell are you?
Apollo 13.
You're the one responsible for the...
I mean, when I say responsible,
I mean I was responsible for this, all this.
Apollo 13 was an accident. Oh, sure.
Sure it was.
Just like the captain of the Exxon Valdez
didn't see Alaska floatin' there right in front of him.
Could I, uh, get your autograph right there?
What, another, uh... Another accident, Bud?
No, no, no. This was all me. This was...
We were walking down the hall, and the cafeteria lady jumped out of a doorway
and pushed me right into Bud Nesbitt,
the Apollo 13 wrecker.
Bud's been a little touchy the last, ooh...
10, 15 years.
Who are you?
I'm, uh, F... Fred...
Fred... Fred...
That's Fred Randall.
Fred Randall.
Fred, meet your new roommate.
Julie Ford, mission specialist, geologist.
Oh, it's gonna be a real honor sleeping with you.
In completely different beds.
Fred, she's not your roommate.
He is.
I get it. I get it. He's the rookie. Huh. Good one.
The legendary "rooming with the monkey" gag.
Ulysses is a chimp, not a monkey.
It's a ch...
And he's the key to discovering life on Mars.
I'm training him using calls that he's familiar with
to retrieve specific rock samples
from underground fissures.
Of course.
There's still moisture under the surface,
and where there's water, there could be life.
That's right. Good boy.
Or death.
Death to anyone who dare
to disturb the vicious Martian crust devils
with their venomous feet and their wet sucking lips.
Uh, Paul. Huh?
Paul, can I talk to you for a second? Sure.
Well, it looks like it's me and you, my little Ewok.
You're gonna be my very first roommate.
So what do you think? What do I think?
What do you think? I mean, what is your reasoning here, Paul?
Little Dr. Zaius.
Because we're going to Mars,
we should take along a guy from Mars?
He's a computer genius. He's supposed to be a little weird.
A little?
I am not gonna let a few random
personality quirks ground the most
important mission of my career.
Well, Paul, excuse me for letting my practical concerns
get in the way of your career.
Wait, wait. This mission means just as much to you as it does to me, Ford,
and if Gordon can't cut it,
then this kid is our last hope.
Well, that's impressive. They're bonding already.
Mom, please!
I really wish you'd stop referring to it as running away from home.
It's only temporary.
Going to Mars is not temporary, Freddie.
The last time you ran away, it was just to the garage.
Oh, I know. You're rebelling, aren't you?
Mom, I don't even know If I'm going to Mars for sure.
Oh. Well, I wish I was.
I've made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just like you like 'em.
It's a long trip.
Mom, I'm not even hungry. Honestly. Oh.
Look. There's a little moon, a star and a little rocket.
I'm 30 years old. I'm almost a full-grown man.
I'll take the rocket.
Well, isn't this a treat?
Finally. A place of my own.
No one to tell me what to do.
Wasn't me.
Hey, there's no eating puzzles in the house.
And surely we don't jump on the bed. All right, I'm going out.
If you light the place on fire, the number's 911. Thank you.
Hey, Randall. Come on. I'll buy you a drink.
Wait a second. I'm not much of a drinker.
Gil, round of blast offs for my friend Randall here.
Blastoff? What's that?
That's a very special drink. It's just for us astronauts.
Oh, like Tang?
Exactly.
Houston, we have ignition.
Yes! Excellent, excellent.
Commencing countdown. In three...
Two, one, blast off!
Blast off! Blast off!
Blast off!
Yee-haw!
Whoa!
Hey, Ford. Got off work early, huh?
Was this necessary, Bill? Oh, absolutely. Enjoy the show.
Oh, geez. Getting someone drunk like this is wrong.
Is he the one you want in the jump seat next to you,
when you're 35 million miles away from home?
Julie Ford!
Julie Ford. Come on. Let's twirl. Twirl.
No. Bill, Bill.
We're twirling!
Whoo!
It wasn't me. It wasn't me.
You kids have fun now, you hear?
Everyone is laughing at us.
This is not some frat party, Randall. This is NASA.
And some of us have actually earned the right to be here.
And we need someone to replace Gary on this mission, or it doesn't happen.
So grow up or get out,
but don't waste my time.
Hey, Julie!
I was just tryin' to, you know...
Fit in.
Julie?
Oh, it's you.
Hey, don't worry, little fella.
It's only thunder. It scares me too.
You can't sleep, huh?
All right.
I'll sing you a little lullaby, but only one.
â™ª Hairy little monkey Sleeping in the night
â™ª Close your monkey eyes
â™ª So monkey, monkey tight
â™ª And then you'll know
â™ª Little monkey doesn't fright
â™ª When the thunder goes boom
â™ª So deep into the night â™ª
Oh, this Randall guy is a joke.
Give him a chance. That's all I ask.
He's not gonna show, you know.
Guy's an embarrassment to NASA.
Now I understand people like him.
Trust me. He'll be a total professional.
Listen, you... Morning, morning.
Oh, good, Fred.
Look, we're gonna start off your testing this morning with the isolation chamber.
So for the next 24 hours, we'll see if you can withstand
the extreme isolation of space travel.
Cut off from all external stimuli.
Completely and utterly alone.
Yeah, well, not exactly. Your competition is gonna be in the adjacent chamber.
Gordo!
Sir.
Hey! Gordon A. Peacock.
Computer specialist.
Well, well, well, well, well, isn't this a treat?
Hey, what kind of laptop do you have?
Randall, let's go!
Close it up.
Gordo, you're on the right. Randall, you're in the left chamber here.
Surely.
Initializing 24-hour clock.
Hello!
What the heck? Is that you?
Yes, it's me!
Prove it!
I asked you first!
Oh!
â™ª John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
â™ª His name is my name too
â™ª Whenever we go out, the people always shout
â™ª John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt â™ª
He stopped. Oh.
â™ª People always shout
â™ª John Jacob Jingleheimer...
â™ª John Jacob Jingle...
â™ª John Jacob Jingle... â™ª
Paul, this is inhuman.
I say, Freddie,
it was absolutely lovely to invite us out of London for the weekend, old boy.
Yes, it's absolutely smashing to be here, Freddie.
Well, it's my pleasure to have you here, Mr. and Mrs. Plumpton.
Okay, Bill, let's get 'em out.
Somebody stole my pants.
Yes, you did.
I didn't, Horton. I'm telling you, I never will.
Uh, could you guys give me just a few more minutes? I just started the third act.
Yes, close the door. It's bloody chilly in here.
Yes, close the door, you fat...
Don't use that word around the children.
Yes! Power down.
Powering down.
Gordo, good work. Whoo!
Hey, way to go, Gordo!
Looks like he beat that motion sickness.
Hey, nice ride, fella.
Thank you. I probably shouldn't have had
that liverwurst and headcheese sandwich before this.
Say, Randall. You know, that iso chamber was cakewalk.
Now this little baby, this is a whole another animal.
Hey, how fast does this little tree twirl?
Nearly 200 miles an hour.
That's six Gs. Bill there holds the record.
Have fun, kid.
"Fun" is my Chinese neighbor's middle name.
Man.
Smooth sailing, Randall.
Stand by.
All right, let's try four Gs.
Make it five.
Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
A little...
Faster!
5.7. 5.8.
Thank you.
Six Gs.
He tied your record, Commander. Should I stop?
Give it a little gas! Make it seven!
Ah! Faster! Faster! Go ahead.
That's enough!
Slow down!
Mommy!
I want my mommy!
Huh?
And what's the most important thing at NASA, children?
Safety!
Our Father, who art in heaven...
Here we go, Gary.
Be brave, huh? Why don't you try walking?
Get out of the way!
Ouch.
Uh, sorry I'm late.
I, uh...
I ran into Gary and, uh...
Get in the chair, Fred.
The...
The other chair.
Sweet swirling onion rings.
Capacitor 15 goes into 12.
17 into two. Then red goes over into the green.
That's it. Good, Randall.
Really good.
That's the fastest time I've ever seen.
I, uh, I designed most of these circuits.
How's it goin'?
Hmm.
Oh, he's doin' great.
Yeah, well, let's see what happens under emergency conditions.
You've got one minute to complete the board, or your crew dies.
Begin.
Whoa!
You know what to do. Do it!
You doubt yourself, you fail.
Ceiling, wall, floor, you guys.
It's moving too fast.
It'll be a hundred times worse in real life.
Come on, Randall.
Randall!
Ah! Randall!
Randall, you're hopeless.
How'd I do?
One minute and 30 seconds.
Just remember, gentlemen, the object is
to keep your ping-pong ball airborne as long as possible.
We're testing lung capacity to determine the amount of time you have to survive
should a life-support malfunction occur.
Just so you know, the record's three minutes,
held by Commander Overbeck.
Ford, do me a favor.
If by some miracle this kid makes it,
watch out for him, will ya?
Sir.
Hey, Ben. Bud.
So. Bud!
Will you excuse us?
Ah, they're closing in on Bill's record.
Ben.
Bill, what do you think?
I think Gordo's an astronaut and Randall isn't.
Hmm, I don't know.
Hmm?
He broke the record.
It wasn't me.
So we will be using a new system
which generates artificial gravity on this mission.
Miss Ford, do you expect to find life on Mars?
Absolutely. Yes.
Along with my crew, including Ulysses,
I think it is most likely that we'll find microscopic unicellular organisms
which are very similar to those found in the rock fragments from Antarctica.
Vernon Barrett, BBC.
Commander Overbeck, we've all read about
the potentially dangerous windstorms on the surface.
How's that gonna affect the mission?
Well, as a former test pilot,
I've experienced my share of wind problems.
The ground crew has assured me that
if we launch now, these storms shouldn't be any trouble.
Vernon Barrett, BBC.
Mr. Wick, has NASA selected a replacement crew member yet?
Well, I'm glad that you've asked that question.
Ben, you wanna take that one?
Yes, um, I have made a decision
on our replacement,
and the National Aeronautics and Space Administration
is pleased, as I am pleased,
to, um, announce the appointment of astronaut
and third crew member of the historic manned mission to Mars,
Astronaut Fred Randall.
Verify preps complete on C-1FR.
I'm not ready, Bud.
Fred, in '68, when President Johnson
appointed me chief of operations for the Apollo missions,
he gave me three commemorative coins.
One for honor, which I gave to Armstrong,
one for freedom, I gave that one to Lovell,
and one...
For bravery.
It hasn't done me much good.
Maybe it'll mean something to you.
Oh.
I feel like the cowardly lion.
â™ª If I
â™ª Were the king
â™ª Of the forest
â™ª I'd r-r-ruff and I'd r-r-ruff
â™ª And I'd r-r-ruff â™ª
How about just saying, "Thanks for the cool coin, Bud.
"It really means a lot to me."
Oh, yeah. Thanks for the cool coin, Bud.
What was the rest?
You're welcome, Fred. Go on.
Good luck, Astronaut Randall!
Engines ready for power transformer.
All right, team. Let's kick the tires and light the fires.
Don't worry, Ulysses. Everything's gonna be okay.
Nothin' to be scared of. I'm not scared.
There's no reason why you should be scared.
What's our status? Go.
Roger, 842. Booster? Go.
APUs Go.
OHMS? Lookin' good.
Houston, we're getting close here.
Initiating final checklist.
Fuel cells. Fuel cells, check.
Hydraulics. Hydraulics, check.
CDPS, panel six. MMU, one.
IPL. AT&T?
GPC, mode four. KFC.
EDP. YMCA.
GNC in five. BMW?
CNS. CNN.
CNS. IHOP.
Randall, computer navigation systems.
I have to go tinkle.
CNS, check.
Eclis. Eclis, check.
APU. APUs are go.
Abort switch. Abort switch, on.
Initiating final launch sequence.
All right, people, looking good.
T-minus 10. Let's light her up.
No, not yet!
Ten, nine, eight...
Fifteen, twenty-nine...
...seven, six...
Wait a minute! There's a fly in my helmet.
...four, three... It went up my nose!
...two, one.
We have liftoff! 0232, GMT.
Yes.
Oh, good Lord.
I hope I packed him enough underwear.
I wouldn't worry about that, pumpkin.
He's packin' his own underwear right now.
Oh, my.
Are you guys seeing this?
My helmet.
Did you feel that?
My face went back like this, and then I...
There was things floating out of my mouth.
Could we do that again?
I like this!
Hey, I'm floating up in the air
like a little bird, like a crow.
Hey, look at that!
There's a big field of corn down there, everybody.
Engaging artificial gravity in three,
two, one.
Hey, Randall, take a look out the window.
Ooh, wow.
It really does look like a giant blueberry.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.
Commander, can I call you Bill? No.
Are we there yet? No.
Could I drive? No.
I'm hungry.
Oh, Ulysses, it's yum-yum time.
Ow, ow.
Ow, the flesh, it burns.
Oh, ow, oh. Need some burn ointment.
Oh.
You hungry, Ulysses?
Here, you eat the monkey fruitcake. Now go sit at the table.
Sit at the table.
Randall, where's that dinner?
It's just coming out of the oven, Bill.
Okay, people. Let's eat up.
In 20 minutes, we got a broadcast with the President and the entire free world.
If it's all the same to you guys,
I'm going to sit that one out.
So, what'd you make for dinner?
Prime rib, whipped broccoli and mashed potatoes.
Whoa! Julie's doin' her Old Yeller impression.
Please, Pa, I don't want Yeller to die.
Toothpaste.
Oh.
That's not potatoes.
I'm sorry. What?
This is not...
Oh, man, it's hemorrhoid cream.
It's hemorrhoid cream.
Hey, swallow your food there, fella.
Dear Mr. President. No.
Dear world and Mr. President...
That came out of nowhere.
Look out, Sally.
Be careful you don't get sucked out when you flush.
What?
Happens all the time.
Oh, no, Bud's coin.
Come to papa.
Good evening, my fellow Americans and citizens of the world.
Tonight we are privileged to be speaking live
with our courageous Mars astronauts.
Good evening, Commander.
Good evening, Mr. President.
Welcome aboard the Aries.
I would like to say that this mission is intended
to honor all of the peoples of the world
for space is about the highest yearning...
Are we on? ...of mank...
Of mankind.
I don't mean to cut you off, Commander, but I'm going to
because I spy Fred Randall there,
and I believe the people of the world would like to know
just why he looks like a Smurf tonight.
Officer Randall has some duties to perform...
We are on. ...in another part of the spacecraft right now.
If I could just finish this thought. Say hello to the world, son.
Me?
Yes, Mr. President.
I, uh, I don't think that I... Oh, boy. Wait a minute.
Tell them what it's like up here.
Yeah, son, you go ahead.
Mr. President, sir,
from up here, I can...
Well, I can see the whole world out that window, and, uh...
Well, I know down there, there's a lot of wars
and people fighting and so on and whatnot,
but from up here, I feel like I could just
take the whole world and hold it in my hands,
just like a ripe, little blueberry.
I feel like I could... It's almost like I...
â™ª I got the whole world in my hands
â™ª I've got the whole world in my hands
All right. Now the French.
â™ª Je suis le papillon sur la table
â™ª Avec le Chanel No.5 regardons...
Now the Germans!
Oh, come on. Just the Western Hemisphere.
â™ª He's got the whole world
Come on, Commander. â™ª In his hands
â™ª He's got the whole wide world in his hands
â™ª He's got the whole world in his hands â™ª The whole damn world
â™ª He's got the whole world in his hands
Everybody, now!
â™ª He's got the whole world â™ª Go, Father.
â™ª Om â™ª
â™ª I've got the whole world in my hands
And now the Chinese. Come on, all you Chinese.
Hey, there's my star.
What?
My star.
When I was a kid, I picked one out of the sky.
Called it "Fred's Star."
It was my own special little place I could go to,
and no one could ever find me.
That is so weird. I did that too.
You did?
Yes. Which one is yours?
Well, um, actually, it's that one. See?
Just to the right of the North Star,
kinda flickering over there.
That's funny. Why?
Well, that one's right next to mine.
It's, uh... It's amazing, isn't it, Julie?
Yeah.
You know, for all the research I've done,
I still don't really understand what's out there.
I mean, I believe that there's something.
I just, I wish, I wish I...
Well, why don't ya?
What? Wish.
Use your star.
It's like that Jiminy Cricket song.
â™ª When you wish upon a star
â™ª Makes no difference
â™ª Who you are
â™ª And when you wish
â™ª Upon a star
â™ª Your dreams
â™ª Come true â™ª
Jiminy Cricket.
I don't know about this whole hypersleep thing.
It's perfectly safe. Besides, you can't stay awake for eight months.
The boredom would drive you crazy.
Eight months! The eye crust alone could be dangerous.
Hey, Commander!
Ah! It burns the flesh!
So, anyway, Ford, wake me up when we get to Mars.
You got it. Good night, ladies.
So, I'll see you in eight months.
Boy, I wish I had $928 for every time a girl said that to me.
Good night, Fred.
Oh, good night, Julie Ford.
Well, it's a tale as old as time, Ulysses.
Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl.
Girl goes into hypersleep.
Whoa! No!
No, see? You can't be in here
because yours is over there.
This is mine. Okay.
I'm goin' in here. You can stay right there,
and I'm gonna take yours, you hairy little bed stealer.
Good night. Gonna close the door.
Ow. Just gonna close this...
Ow.
Gotta close the door.
Eight-month-old morning breath.
Mornin' glory and hallelujah, Commander.
Query, how long have I been asleep?
Thirteen minutes!
â™ª Baby
No, no.
â™ª I couldn't sleep at all last night â™ª Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo
â™ª Just a-thinkin' of you â™ª Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo
â™ª Baby, they were right â™ª Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo
â™ª Well, I was tossin' and turnin'
â™ª Turnin' and tossin'
â™ª Tossin' and turnin' all night
â™ª I kicked the blankets off the floor â™ª Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo
â™ª Turned my pillow upside down â™ª Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo
â™ª I never, never did before â™ª Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo
â™ª 'Cause I was tossin' and turnin'
â™ª Turnin' and tossin'
â™ª Tossin' and turnin' all night
â™ª Jumped out of bed, turned on the light
Crazy blanket! No man could sleep with you!
â™ª Rolled up the shade, turned off the light
â™ª I jumped back into bed, it was the middle of the night
â™ª The clock downstairs was striking 4:00 â™ª Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo
â™ª Couldn't get you off my mind â™ª â™ª Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo â™ª
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
My darling, what a wonderful evening.
You look so beautiful tonight, so full of life.
Your hair looks like corn silk.
Soft, snowy skin and your tangerine lips.
And your...
Les joyeux oreilles, Monsieur Overbeck. Oui?
C'est bon moustache, non?
Oh, c'est bon, oui?
Hi! It's me again!
Whack, whack, whack! Wake up!
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!
Fred, come out, Fred.
You can't hide forever, Fred. They're coming to get you, Fred.
Bwana, it's me, Fred.
They've taken over the ship.
Fifty, sixty of them.
If I die in the jungle, take this down.
I need four barrels of gunpowder,
a machete, a goatskin,
a guide that speaks Hutu.
Fred, snap out of it. Fred, snap out of it.
Fred, snap...
It wasn't me.
Hello. Hello.
Hello? Fred?
May I ask who's calling? Over.
It's Bud. Go to the private medical channel.
Bud, where have you been? Over.
Why are you awake?
Well, there was a series of very bad mistakes that happened all at once,
but everything's fine and my spirits are high.
The ship is in shipshape.
And by the way, the Hutu uprising is over. Over.
Forget the overs.
I don't know how I'm gonna keep this from Wick.
You don't have to. I've already reprogrammed the hypersleep monitors.
He doesn't have to know.
Ration your food. I'll do what I can.
Bud, there's something else.
I've been looking at the latest weather surveyor photos from Mars.
What are you talking about?
I can't be sure,
but I have a feeling that when we land,
we might run into some nasty windstorms.
That's impossible. None of our people picked that up.
I know. I almost missed it myself.
If you look in sectors five and six of the Valles Marineris,
you'll see that they're...
Way too low for this time of year. This could be bad.
What do we do? We do nothing.
If Wick finds out you're awake, he'll go through the roof.
Let me go to him with this weather business.
He'll have no choice. He'll have to reconsider the mission.
Reconsider the mission? Sure.
Hmm, okay. It's still on.
Paul, Paul, look at these new readouts.
The danger is real. I don't have to look at anything, Bud.
I have a roomful of experts telling me that everything is just peachy,
and you waltz up to me and tell me to reconsider a $40 billion mission
just because you've got a hunch?
That's right.
I'm sorry, Bud. Your hunches are worth
about as much as dental floss at a Willie Nelson concert.
I'll be monitoring the situation.
If the data doesn't change...
You'll leave it to me to make the call, as always.
Yeah.
Ah! Voila.
February, March, April, May, June, July, August.
Whoopsie. Wake-up time.
Time for sleep over!
Come on, Ford. I'm starving.
Randall, why are you dressed like that?
What have you been doing?
Oh, just, uh, making coffee.
You know, I'm a morning person. Good morning, Julie.
What happened in here?
Uh, well, uh...
I'll be the first to say it. It, uh, it looks like we've got space rats.
Space rats?
You've been awake. No!
No, it wasn't me. It was... It was the hairy one!
Uh, him!
Naughty!
Well, it's obvious he's very sorry, and he doesn't want to talk about it anymore.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Turns out Ulysses is one of those rare,
genius painting monkeys.
That's food.
You've been awake the whole time, and you used up all of our food, didn't ya?
No! No! Didn't ya? Look at this!
What are we supposed to do now?
Fish? Fish...
This... Look! Look! It's gone!
We're doomed! You understand me? I've got backup supplies.
I've got lots of backup sup... What? Oh!
Oh, what do you got here?
Anchovy paste. I love that stuff! Yeah, yeah.
Creamed liver. This is good. It's good for your gums.
Gefilte fish! I'm not eating gefilte fish for the rest of this trip!
Bill! What?
We're here.
All right, kids. Here we go.
Randall, stop eating and pay attention.
Houston, we have separation.
Request permission to engage descent burn.
Roger, Pilgrim. Confirm separation.
Roger that.
We have separation confirmed.
Pilgrim, you are go for descent burn.
Roger that, Houston. Commencing descent burn.
Pilgrim is through the high gate at 80%.
Status. Aeroshell deployed.
Acceleration rate, normal. Eclis is go.
They have entered Martian atmosphere.
Bill, we've got a problem. Glide slope increasing.
I see it, Ford.
We're losing stable trajectory.
Randall. Status.
Commander, we need a five-percent Z-gimbal correction.
Five percent. No! Wait! Wait!
I need a number, Randall. Ten percent.
No! No! 12! Trajectory's eroding!
Is it 10 or is it 12?
12! No, I meant 12. I'm sorry. 12.
Initiating 12% Z-gimbal course correction.
Communication shutdown for three minutes.
I knew it was 12.
Holy cow.
Look at that.
Engaging landing thrusters.
It's okay, little fellow. It's gonna be okay.
Pilgrim, this is Houston.
Pilgrim, this is Houston. Do you copy?
Pilgrim, this is Houston. Come in, please.
Houston, this is Planitia Base.
The Pilgrim has landed! Yeah!
Commander William Overbeck is the first out of the capsule...
Oh!
...and within seconds will step onto the surface of Mars
and into the history books.
We all eagerly await...
This is a very big day for us, Ben. Very big.
Mr. President, peoples of the world,
for a poor farm boy from Iowa,
this is one heck of an honor, to be the first man to travel to a distant planet.
Fred, go slowly. You must adjust to low gravity. To be the first man
to set foot on the surface of Mars. Whoa! Whoops!
Hey!
It wasn't me!
Randall, I'm gonna kick your butt!
My God!
It's amazing!
We're the first to ever stand on Mars.
Now you're the biggest idiot on two planets.
We're the first to talk on Mars.
Hey, Julie. I'm the first to walk backwards on Mars.
First to blow a kiss on Mars.
Oh!
Hey, you're the first to blush on Mars.
Fred!
How'd you like to be the first guy to die on Mars?
Well, sorry, "Mr. First To Show
"Inappropriate Anger On Mars."
I'm not listenin', Randall.
I'm turnin' this radio off.
Well, you're the first to not listen to me on Mars.
â™ª Na, na, na, na, na, na
Please talk to me! â™ª Na, na, na, na, na, na â™ª
I wanna get to know you more for the first time on Mars.
Are we there yet? No.
Can I drive? No!
You never let me drive! Shut up.
Hey, there's no air bag. What if I go flying through the windshield?
Randall, there is no windshield.
Oh. Well, what if I go flying through the front of my helmet?
I'd die happy.
Well, this is it. Valles Marineris.
Stop right here, Ford. This'll be perfect.
This is where we plant the flag.
Roger.
I'll set up the weather station and take the core drilling samples,
and I'll be back in an hour.
We'll off-load this equipment.
Rendezvous back here at 1400 hours.
1400 hours. Check.
You be careful out there, Ford.
You're right. This is the spot.
This is the perfect spot right here. Yeah.
What are you doing, Randall? Where's that flag?
It's coming, Commander.
Oh! Uh-oh.
Wasn't me!
But I'll get it. I think I saw where it went.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. No, no, no, no, no.
Moron!
Who are you talkin' to, Commander?
Do you realize what you've just done?
I've waited my whole life for this moment,
to plant a flag on a distant planet.
Now I'm on a distant planet, which was the hard part,
and I don't have a flag 'cause you lost it!
Don't worry, Commander. I've got another flag! I don't believe this!
A high-flying flag! A proud flag!
A wonderful flag!
What are you doing? Oh!
We're makin' history, Commander!
Randall!
And salute!
Huh? Ten-hut!
It's the President.
Why don't I just throw myself off this cliff?
Why don't I throw you off this cliff?
Don't worry. They're clean.
Paul, we got a red on Overbeck.
We have a primary oxygen tank leak.
We need to preserve his SOP. Solution?
Emergency tie line. We hook him into another suit.
Do it, Doc.
Uh, Bill, this is Houston. Uh, you got a leak in your primary O2 tank.
I see it, Houston. What do we do?
You've got an emergency line in your plisse.
Hook it up with Randall's spare vent nozzle,
and you'll share it till you get back to the Pilgrim.
Houston, is that sanitary?
Hey, Commander? Yeah?
Do you believe in UFOs at all, or...
Sure, I believe in UFOs.
You do?
Yeah.
There's one following me. Huh?
I get it!
You're funny, Commander.
Hey, Commander? Yeah?
When I was a kid,
at night I used to think there was a baker under my bed.
Did you ever have anything under your bed? No.
Well, did you ever bend down and look? No.
Well, how do you know there wasn't a baker under your bed?
Randall, shut up.
Hey, Commander? Yeah?
I seem to be experiencing these intense intestinal cramps.
Randall, I'm trying to conserve oxygen here.
But they hurt me so!
Keep it to yourself. Ow. Ow, ow.
Wait a minute. Ow, ow.
I think if we stay on this heading for another 20 minutes,
we'll see the Pilgrim.
What?
I didn't do anything.
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Don't do that.
No, no. Come on. Hey...
Oh, man!
Oh!
Wasn't me.
What do you mean, it wasn't you?
We're 35 million miles from the nearest person!
Heart rate up, adrenalin up, stomach muscles spasming.
Overbeck's in distress.
Look at these methane levels.
Methane.
Oh! Oh, it's in my mouth.
Hey, he who smelt it dealt it!
Ugh!
What?
Oh!
Commander, I'm having trouble breathing.
You're having trouble breathing!
My eyes are burnin'!
Truly, it wasn't me! Maybe it was Julie.
You dog! Hey, miracles can happen.
Blaming this on Julie!
Okay. I admit it was me!
Thank you!
Now that was Julie!
This isn't good, Bill. I think Fred's right.
Looks like the winds are coming early. Maybe two or three days.
Look at these readings I took today.
Should still be all right tomorrow.
Oh, now, wait a second. No, it's not gonna be all right.
My calculations are telling me
that these two Martian high pressure systems
are comin' together faster than any of us could have predicted.
Tomorrow. When that happens, we're nothin' more
than a dust bunny stuck in the bag of a vacuum.
You go out there, you're not comin' back.
What are you doing, Randall?
What are you doing?
What, it's not enough that you broke every record that I ever set?
That you humiliated me on global television?
That you ruined what should have been the most important moment of my life
by steppin' on Mars first?
That's not enough for you! You've gotta do this!
No. No. This one is mine.
We came to Mars to gather fossil samples.
We're not leaving here until I accomplish this.
Wait.
Bill, I don't want to abort this mission
any more than you do, but...
I know he's right.
If we don't leave before this storm hits, we don't leave.
What do you suggest?
Tomorrow morning, we check the readings.
If they're bad,
we abort.
All right. Fine.
Let's get some sleep.
What did Overbeck say?
He said we should wait till morning.
You know, Bud, maybe I was wrong about the winds.
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.
I wanna tell you something, Fred, about the 13 mission.
The day before launch, I...
I caught what seemed to be a minor glitch in the tank stirring circuits.
Didn't look serious, but I went to Wick.
I told him we needed to postpone until we could green-light the system.
He said there was no way we were gonna push back the launch date.
He said that I was overreacting.
That I was imagining a problem when there was none.
So Apollo 13 was Wick's fault.
No, no. I had every right and authority to stop that launch, but I didn't.
I didn't make the call.
If those three astronauts hadn't pulled off a number of last-minute major miracles,
they would have been dead, and it would have been my fault.
I'm not gonna let that happen this time. I'm gonna get you guys out of this.
Hey, Bud. What?
I'd be proud to end up like you.
I copy that.
Bud out.
Ugh! The mushroom people are coming!
Fred! Wake up! Get them away! The mushroom people!
Fred! Fred!
Bill is gone. He took Ulysses and the spare backpack, and he is gone.
Sweet mother of meat!
Huh? Uh-oh!
All right, buddy. Here we go.
Go on.
How are they doing up there, Paul? Oh, good morning, sir.
Yes. We're just about to wake the crew. Would you like this one, sir?
Oh, great!
It's over, Paul. Sir, I'm making the call. We abort now.
No one's listening to you, Bud. Don't make me call security.
I'm not gonna stand by and let another disaster happen.
This man has continually ignored the warnings
of our crew on Mars.
Security, would you come in here, please?
Our mission is in serious jeopardy, sir.
Bud...
Don't make this any harder than it already is. Don't do this, sir.
Bud, would you take it easy?
We're all under a lot of stress. You just need to rest, that's all.
Ben, those people are gonna die.
Bud, you have totally lost it!
We haven't had any negative reports.
Would you get him out of here, please?
Paul, we've got a contact at emergency frequency.
On screen.
Pilgrim, this is Houston. Houston, the storms are here.
Wind speed at, uh... Forty-five.
Forty-five miles per hour and rising! Visibility dropping.
Houston, what should we do?
Houston, please advise!
Paul.
Randall. No, that's... That's impossible.
Our weather pattern analysis...
Mr. Wick, this is bad.
I don't think I've ever seen anything like this before.
It reminds me of a French Canadian...
A tennis racket stuck to the back of my...
Bubbling out of my sister's...
Brazilian donkey...
I don't think I can make myself any clearer.
Wick, get them off that planet!
Do as he says, Paul.
We had no way of knowing.
I followed procedure, Ben. I followed procedure here.
Paul, unplug and go home.
Unplug and go home?
Nesbitt, you're in command.
Houston, do you copy? Houston, come in!
Pilgrim, we copy. Please stand by.
Well, don't stare at me, people. We got a crew out there!
Let's bring them home!
Houston, wind speed continues to increase.
This is bad, Paul. Ford, it's Bud. Listen carefully.
If the wind keeps building at this rate,
in 20 minutes, lift-off will be impossible.
Launch now. No!
Commander Overbeck and Ulysses are still out there.
They're lost now. You're not.
Launch!
I'm going after them. What?
Fred! Fred, answer me! Fred!
Can't hear you. We're fading out fast.
Fred!
If I'm not back in 20 minutes, you've gotta take off without me!
Fred! You will be back.
Twenty minutes. Fred!
And then take off!
Twenty minutes, right? Not 15 or anything?
All right.
Twenty-one is okay too.
Ford, what's going on? What's happening? I'm losing you. Julie!
Commander! Commander Overbeck!
Ulysses!
Where are you? Answer me!
There you are.
How many times have I told you not to wander around in a Martian dust storm?
We've gotta find the commander.
Oh.
Where are they?
Commander!
Commander Overbeck!
Randall?
Commander? Is that you?
Randall! It is you!
All right. Stand back, little fella. Nothing to see here. Commander.
What are you doing here? Get back to the ship and save yourself.
Sorry, Commander. I can't do that. That's an order!
I've gotta get you out. I can't lift it.
They say that when a mother's child is trapped,
the rush of her adrenaline gives her the strength of 20 men.
Hurry, Commander! Call me "Mommy." What?
Call me "Mommy" now!
I'd rather die in the Martian dirt!
Who am I? Would you just lift up the stinking thing?
Who am I?
Mommy.
Say it like you love me.
Mommy.
Please, Mommy. Save me.
Mommy's coming, little Billy. Save me!
Live, child! Live!
You're alive, little Billy!
Don't you ever call me "little Billy"!
That's no way to talk to your mother!
Houston, this is Ford!
Julie, where's Fred?
Still out there. I'm initiating launch sequence.
Wait! They still have time to get back!
Give them a chance!
I know what I'm doing.
Which way, Commander?
I don't know. Can't get a reading.
Let's go down behind that rock.
Come on, Ulysses!
I'm gonna go out there and take a closer look.
It's the Pilgrim. It's too late. She's taking off!
She's guiding us with the engines. Come on!
I'll get Ulysses. Ulyss...
Ulysses!
Tank's empty!
We'll share air!
We don't have a spare hose. Remember?
Well, then I'll give him mine.
You don't leave friends behind.
What are you gonna do? Hold your breath?
You'll never make it back to the Pilgrim.
Don't forget, Commander. I'm the new NASA record holder for lung capacity.
That was three minutes!
This is what... Four, maybe five?
What, you ignore me the whole trip,
but now that I have no air, you wanna chat?
Randall!
Randall! Randall!
Oh, no! Not now!
Twenty minutes are up, Julie.
Wait, wait. I see someone.
Ford, what's going on?
I got it. Ford, who is it? Julie, do you copy?
Julie! Fred, are you there?
Fred? Copy! Somebody!
Bill! Where's Fred?
He should have been here. Don't launch.
There he is! Fred.
Wait. He's going the other way. Fred!
Hey! Hey! Fred! Come back!
Hey, get me out of this tank. What are you doing?
It's empty, anyway.
He's holding his breath out there.
Oh, my God!
If we're not back in five minutes...
Hurry! Hurry, Bill!
Bill! Bill, is he all right? Is he okay?
He's not breathing. Get his helmet off!
Oh! Don't even think about it, Randall.
Houston! Houston, this is Pilgrim!
Oh. Carol Ann? Go into the light, honey.
Fred! Honey, go into the light.
Houston!
Oh, it's you! Ulysses!
No, Julie.
No. Ulysses needs air. Oh!
Houston.
Come in, please. We're on board.
We need go for launch!
Get the hell out of there. Roger that, Houston.
My God! Preparing for launch.
Not the hairy one! Take me!
Running main thrusters. Rocket boosters intact.
Fred! Fred!
Fred! Fred, he's fine. He's just resting!
MX-5 ready to go.
Main thrusters go in three.
Two. One. Hold on.
We have lift-off. Fifty meters.
One hundred, and increasing velocity.
Two hundred meters.
Course is good. Nice flying, Uncle Walnut.
One thousand. Two thousand.
Increasing velocity. Five thousand.
Six thousand.
Eight thousand.
Just a little higher. You're almost clear of the storm.
Ten thousand. Come on.
All systems green. I think we made it.
What the hell was that?
Houston! Houston, we've had an impact! It wasn't me!
APU down. Navigation controls are compromised.
Switching to auxiliary power!
We're losing veloc...
Status.
Eclis down, OHMS down, visual contact out.
We've got a total kill here.
Solutions.
Randall rewires the entire operation system circuitry
in less than two minutes. End of solutions.
Bud, what do we do here?
We do nothing.
Pilgrim is in a free fall.
Left controls are out.
Randall, I need the engine computers up now!
This time it was definitely not me!
I'm switching to manual. Randall, check below!
Randall!
How's it look down there?
Like this...
Well, fix it!
Well, you stop this ship from tumbling
and give me about a week!
I can't stop the tumbling, and you've got two minutes!
Whoa!
To recap the story
the Pilgrim was caught in a violent sandstorm,
and is now tumbling
towards the Martian surface.
We're standing by to hear
what the latest NASA has to say
about this terrible incident.
4,500 meters. Dropping fast.
90 seconds to impact.
You tell me straight, Nesbitt. Can he do it?
Only a complete genius or a total fool could ever pull this off.
Lucky for us, he's both.
Any power yet, Bill? I got nothin'. We're in a flat spin.
Randall, this would be a terrific time to fix that!
Any time now would be good!
60 seconds to impact.
System is still red. We've established audio link.
Fred!
Fred, can you hear me?
Bud, I'm down below. Everything's spinning,
and I don't know what to do.
Focus, Fred. It's like in training. The rotating chair with the wires.
Well, that was a real winner.
You can do this.
Trust your instincts.
Now!
Come on. You can do it!
Thirty seconds! Don't give up, Fred!
Come on, Fred.
Yeah! Gotta close the circuit!
Come on, Fred.
Fifteen seconds to impact.
Need something. Need so...
You're the man, Fred!
Come on!
Ten seconds.
Bud's coin!
Come on!
Yee-haw!
I got power!
You did it, Fred!
Put on the porch light, Mama.
We're comin' home!
Yeah! Whoa!
Oh, Magoo! Uh, you've, uh, done it again, sir.
That, uh,
little space rock's gonna make you real famous, Julie Ford.
So, uh, what's next for you, Rocketman?
Well, uh, actually,
I was thinking about asking you to dance.
Oh. Well, uh, thanks anyway,
but I think we've done that before.
Now wait a second. I had a little time on my hands recently,
and I've been practicing.
That and I got a little bit creative
with the, uh, space blankets.
â™ª When you wish upon a star
â™ª Makes no difference who you are
â™ª Anything your heart desires
â™ª Will come to you
â™ª Like a boat out of the blue
â™ª Fate steps in and sees you through
â™ª When you wish
â™ª Upon a star
â™ª Your dreams
â™ª Come true â™ª
Sweet dreams, lovebirds.
So, I guess I'll see you in eight months.
Good night, Fred.
It's a tale as old as time, Ulysses.
Boy meets girl,
boy falls for girl,
boy and girl return to home planet,
get a nice little house with a white picket fence,
live happily...
No! No, not again!
Ulysses! No!
â™ª Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
â™ª And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
â™ª Till touchdown brings me round again to find
â™ª I'm not the man they think I am at home
â™ª Oh, no, no, no
â™ª I'm a rocket man
â™ª Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
â™ª Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
â™ª In fact, it's cold as hell
â™ª And there's no one there to raise them
â™ª If you did
â™ª And all the science
â™ª I don't understand
â™ª It's just my job five days a week
â™ª A rocket man
â™ª Rocket man
â™ª And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
â™ª Till touchdown brings me round again to find
â™ª I'm not the man they think I am at home
â™ª Oh, no, no, no
â™ª I'm a rocket man
â™ª Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
â™ª And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
â™ª And I think it's gonna be a long, long time â™ª